So, Single Mommy life is something I never thought I’d experience.
In ways it’s not as tough as I imagined, in other ways it’s super duper hard.
My sweet, darling, adorable little four year old is absolutely perfect. She always listens, does what she’s told, doesn’t whine or throw huge, epic tantrums that last forEVER because I bought the big oranges, instead the little ones.
So Single Mommy life should be easy, right?
Oh. My.
It’s different-okay, hard–having all the responsibility thrown on me. It’s not a massive adjustment, because I worked at the sign shop for six years before Brad died. Now, it’s just a little more structured. (and less pay, but who’s counting right?) But everything is on my shoulders and I don’t have anyone to share it with or help me figure it out the way that a husband would. That’s different. And super overwhelming at times.
Sometimes, I still find myself getting miffed when things are hectic and I need help. I’m embarrassed to say that I still get a little bit mad at Brad when we have to leave for church in ten minutes and I’ve only half curled my hair and Leah is screaming because she spilled her cereal and the tights I picked out for her have bumps. (yes! BUMPS, All of you who suffered through Tahsha’s-bumps-in-the-socks-episodes should find comfort in the fact that I’m getting pay back. Big Time.)
Sometimes, I just wish he were here when I could use some freaking help.
Now, this isn’t too different from usual, because when he was here this exact thing would happen. I would just have to stomp out to the family room and tell him to get off the computer and go help his daughter. Sometimes I still try to tell him to go help his daughter-- it never works.
You thought that weekends as a not-so-newlywed-couple were lame? Try a Friday night as a Single Mom.
Unless you can convince your friends to ditch their husbands and come hang out with you–only at your house and after 8:30 pm–you pretty much spend your time in front of your computer or T.V.
Going out to eat as a Single Mom is super special too. It used to embarrass me to go to a restaurant with only my four year old for company. Now, it still embarrasses me, I just do it anyways. Girls gotta eat!
But in all honesty, I have to admit that as far as single mom’s go, I have it pretty good. I have to look at my mother, who was single for so many years and had FIVE kids and had to work two jobs just to make ends meet. I guess my life isn’t that hard. (we weren’t easy kids, either.)
Other Mom’s don’t get any support from their families and I get tons. Sometimes I feel guilty for how often Leah is with her Aunts or Grandparents. I get more breaks then a lot of Single Mom’s do.
And, as sucky as my situation is, I have to look at people I know who have dealt with huge, nasty divorces and think I’m grateful that I’m not dealing with that too–having to fight with an ex-husband and maybe a step-mom over my daughter and seeing the pain that it brings the kids and everyone involved. There’s just no escaping it.
I dunno, I wonder if those divorced moms would look at my life and think the same thing.
Single Mom life sucks. I just have probably one of the least-sucky sucky situations. It’s really not the Single Mom thing that’s hard. It’s more the single part of it.
Being alone. Even though I have a gazillion friends, there’s still a loneliness there with me always.
This isn’t a cry for dating. That’s a whole different hurdle I’m still processing. I’ll get back to you on that in 10-20 years. (okay not really…. No one will love me when I’m all wrinkly and old.)
So, for now, I’m just floating along the Single Mom life trying to make the best of it!!
Holla!
*I don't think I can pull that off*
(Any other single mom's out there? Advice? Encouragement? Ways to keep from going crazy???)
