Five years ago we were sealed for eternity.
I’m so proud of us. It was hard work getting there. We did a lot of things wrong--took the long road. But we did it. Our sealing is the single most important thing we’ve ever done. It’s the thing that matters most to me now.
I can’t imagine dealing with all of this if I didn’t know that Brad was mine forever–If we’d let life get the best of us and never made it there.
I was nervous for the day to come–Another first–I started the day with a prayer. I needed peace and comfort. I needed this day to not consume me.
I was baby sitting my two nieces, so needless to say, I didn’t get a lot of sleep. Baby Scout woke my me at 5:45 and I was exhausted and scared for the day ahead, considering the lack of sleep I had from dealing with three little girls and a blaring house alarm in the middle of the night. {Not fun}
Scout gave me the sweetest gift that morning. Through at first, she acted wide awake, ready to play, I pulled her in my bed, and laid her on my chest and there she stayed. She pulled her blanket over her head, and just stared at the wall while I patted her back.
I was in heaven! This is a non-snuggly, squirmy little baby, and she snuggled with me! Even her Mom was amazed, because she never snuggles. It was like she knew what this day was and she wanted to make me feel better.
After a while of patting her back, her blinks got longer and slower, and she finally fell asleep.
She woke up a few minutes later, and rolled off my chest. I was so sad. I really wanted to go back to sleep. But, she turned and snuggled up on my arm. I patted her belly and she laid her tiny hand on top of mine, almost like she was saying “It’s okay Aunt Tahshie, we can go back to sleep now.”
We slept like that for an hour and a half. It was the sweetest little moment ever.
I really think this darling baby gave me just the dose of love and courage to face the day and truly turn it into a good day, like I set out to do.
I got to play with the girls the rest of the morning. We had a lazy, lovely morning of breakfast and cartoon watching on the large couch cushion bed we’d made on the floor the night before for our slumber party.
Stephanie’s mom, Grandma Sandy was so nice and she took all three girls for me while I went to the temple that afternoon.
It’s the second time I’d been there. I cried through most of it, but felt like I wasn’t as big of a mess as the last time. So that’s an improvement, right?
I wanted to go in looking for answers to every single one of my questions (that’s like a bazillion) but I determined that wasn’t what I was there for that day. I just closed my eyes and let the peace and happiness fill me. I soaked it all in, like filling up a canteen with lots of water to get me through the weeks ahead.
Carol was so nice and knew that I’d need something to do that night, so her, Doug and I braved the lines at Cafe Rio. {so good by the way....I’m going to get so fat!} and then met the kids at the Grandparent’s for some snow cones!
All in all, I felt pretty good about the day. I hope I can find a way to make all the “hard days” good days.
What do you do to turn hard days into good days? Help a sista out. {Got lots of them coming. Father's Day is tomorrow.}
Last weekend we moved our sign shop.
I didn’t think too much about it. I went to the shop focused on all the work that needed to be done. I wasn’t ready.
The shop was empty. Everything was gone. The printers were gone. The mess was cleaned. The walls were white.
And I cried. I tried really hard not to make a scene in front of all the guys there to help move. So I held it together and made it to my office.
This was Brad’s company. He built it all. He started in high school with a small vinyl cutter, making stickers. He poured all his effort-all is passion into this business. It frustrated the crap out of him sometimes, but most of the time, it made him happy-proud.
When we moved to this location, over 6 years ago we had one shop bay and two employees (him and I.) Quickly, we needed more room. The sign shop was busy and we needed more equipment--more help. We ended up with three bays, and five employees.
He was 28 years old and ran a very successful business.
I could not be more proud of him. I could not be more proud to be his wife.
I wish I was more like him.
This is a good thing--I had to keep reminding myself. The best scenario possible. (except of course, him being here and none of this happening.)
Brad’s Dad, my awesome father-in-law, bought the company from me. Once we made that decision, a giant weight was taken off my shoulders. I have no idea how to run a sign shop. He’s moving it into a new, bigger, better location, and investing in a new router to allow us to expand. I feel really good about the changes.
The sign shop will stay in the family. It will continue to be a part of the community. It will grow in the way that Brad always dreamed it would.
But it’s still hard.
It was hard to see his shop all gutted. It was hard to clean up all his stuff, even the crap that he’d collected over the years. It was hard to see everything that he’d always worked for boxed up and loaded.
It’s hard to know that everything he ever wanted for the sign shop is going to happen.
Without him.
Life is moving on. The shop is moving on. I’m moving on. Without him.
It has to happen.
This is a good thing.
