Ever since Brad’s death, I’ve been faced with a mountain of extremely difficult tasks. Most of those are emotional and hard. And lots of those are really easy to avoid. But there’s been a lot that I’m forced to deal with–like selling the sign shop, selling my horses, lots and lots of legal work.
So, I’m left with this giant list of terrible things and I’m realizing that, as much as I want to, I can’t put them off forever. Well, I can. But I don’t want to be one of those people who have all the clothes in the closet five years later. I know how it’s felt for the past six months to have those kind of tasks hanging over my head. I don’t want that for very much longer.
So I have to:
Clean out his closet, (I’m planing on making a quilt from his shirts and jeans) clean out his hunting room downstairs, go though his safe and all his guns, clean out his sheds, clean out his stuff from my bathroom, listen to the program from the funeral, and eventually move out of our home.
Do you want to know which of all these dreadful things I’m dreading the most?
Cleaning off the junk pile from the corner of our dresser.
How stupid is that?
It’s that pile. Everyone has one. Mine is on the desk part of my kitchen counters.
I’ve nagged him about that pile since the day we were married. And every once in a while, he’d clean it up–mostly. But for some strange reason, there always seemed to be a few things that he didn’t know where to put, but he couldn’t just throw it away. (keys, screws, business cards) Then he’d add more things to the pile as he came home each day and emptied his pockets. I don’t think that corner of our dresser has ever been clean.
I hate that pile.
So why is it the hardest thing to get rid of? Even cleaning out his clothes seems like more of a manageable task then clearing off the pile.
Because seeing the corner of the dresser empty means I’ll never get to nag him about it again. It means he’ll never come home and throw more crap onto the pile.
He’s gone.
See why these things are so easy to avoid?
